The Misconceptions We Hear
There’s a narrative that often gets repeated:
• “They must sit and eat all day.”
• “They’re lazy and don’t do anything.”
• “They don’t care about their health.”
It’s easy to oversimplify the reasons someone might be overweight. Yes, gaining weight often comes from consuming more calories than we burn—but that’s only the surface. There’s far more beneath it, and not everyone’s story is the same.
The Truth Is More Complex
We’re each built differently—like unique puzzles with a million moving pieces: genetics, hormones, environment, upbringing, trauma, lifestyle shifts, and learned coping mechanisms. Some people are naturally inclined toward movement and healthy eating. Others weren’t taught those habits or developed different ways to cope with stress, pain, or change.
It doesn’t make one better than the other—it just means we all have different areas we struggle with.
Not All Coping Mechanisms Look the Same
For some, it’s reading, shopping, working long hours, or binge-watching shows. For others, it’s food.
It’s easy to assume eating is always a mindful choice, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes we eat without even realizing it—almost as if we’re on autopilot. Think of driving the same route to work—you arrive and can’t remember part of the drive. That’s how automatic eating can become when it’s tied to emotion or habit.
And when food becomes a source of comfort or distraction, the weight can start to slowly—and sometimes rapidly—accumulate.
How Life Transitions Impact Our Bodies
In my own story, things changed dramatically during a difficult time. I went from being active—working jobs that required movement, playing volleyball weekly, getting out for walks and runs—to working a desk job.
At the same time, I was laid off from another job, lost friendships, and went through a relationship that left me feeling alone and confused. Depression set in. I lived alone, unsure of what was next. Evenings after work became about surviving—zoning out in front of the TV to distract my mind and eating food for comfort. It wasn’t intentional. I didn’t want to eat just to eat. Most of the time, it was autopilot. It wasn’t until afterward that I truly felt the weight of what I had just done.
The weight crept on. I’d gain, feel worse, then continue the cycle.
Yes, there were good moments. But underneath it all, I was quietly fighting for something deeper.
Everyone Has a Different Starting Point
Some grow up in homes where fresh food isn’t affordable or even present. Some never learn what a balanced meal looks like. Some have slower metabolisms. Others carry trauma they’ve never had the tools to work through.
In my case, I notice weight gain the most during life transitions—times when I haven’t figured out the new balance yet. Whether working 40 hours or 60+, if I’m stressed or emotionally worn out, that’s when the struggle intensifies.
It's Not Always What You Think
Is it true that some people gain weight because they continually overeat and avoid movement? Sure. But there are many others carrying emotional weight, hormonal shifts, invisible health conditions, and unseen burdens.
To assume someone is unhealthy based solely on their size is unfair and often inaccurate. Some individuals in larger bodies are mentally and emotionally thriving, while others who appear “healthy” on the outside are silently struggling.
Health isn’t always visible. Life isn’t black and white. And bodies—just like stories—are far more complex than they seem.
If You’re Struggling, You’re Not Alone
If you’re carrying extra weight, know this:
You are not lazy. You are not broken. You are not alone.
You’re navigating life with the tools you’ve had so far. And maybe now, you’re learning some new ones. That’s growth. That’s bravery.
It’s not about blaming your past. It’s about bringing awareness to it—and moving forward with grace.
